The Conundrum
by Ariel77
Summary: Watari and Landis seem to have fallen for the same person. Between Nash's interference and their own inability to express themselves, who's gonna get the girl? On hiatus.
1. Chapter 1: Watari

Disclaimer: I don't own Suikoden. This work has not been used for commercial gain.

A/N: Hot whisky and lemon does cure a cold.

**Chapter One: Watari**

_Don't look at her. Don't look at her. Don't look at her._

I say the words over and over again in my head, diligently keeping my eyes on the floor. I notice really odd things: the wood is darker where Joker puked last night because he couldn't hold his drink and the bloodstains from last week's fight (Ace and Duke, I think. Sources tell me it was over that busty alcoholic in the red corset) still haven't gone away. Tsk, tsk. Budehuc has a pretty negligent cleaning staff.

_Don't look at her. Don't look at her. Don't look at her._

I mean, it's not like I go to the tavern on a regular basis (it _smells_). I have a reputation: the grouchy-antisocial-ninja-who-talks-in-monosyllables-or-rather-who-doesn't-talk-at-all. Plus, I can't stand liquor. Not to mention the deplorable lack of self-control exhibited when people get drunk (_Shizu_, of all people…).

_Don't look at her. Don't look at her. Don't look at her._

At this moment, I could _kill_ Luce (slit throat or poison? Haha, just kidding). Why does she have to be so goddamn _nice? _She came up to me, practically oozing motherly love and goodness and said, 'Do you think you could hop across and fetch me a glass of hot whiskey and a lemon? Lucia's caught something awful, and I'd normally ask Hugo to get it, but…' She shrugged sheepishly, implying he was AWOL.

How could I say no?

It's her way of helping me 'fit in'. And it always involves me having to go to these extremely crowded places, and interact with these friendly, chatty, Karayan people. Today it's Anne. Last week, it was Dominic ('Oh, Sgt. Joe _really _needs to get his armour fixed, but I'm _so _busy at the moment…').

Someone ought to break it to her gently: Dominic is _not _a nice person. He actually threatened to throw a helmet at me because I stayed silent for over five minutes.

I think the meaning of the word antisocial escapes Luce. She thinks I'm _shy_.

Yeah. Right.

_Don't look at her. Don't look at her. Don't look at-_

'Watari,' she says.

I'm looking at her.

Damn.

I return her gaze coolly. It's not easy, I tell you. You see, the one thing I've noticed about her (and yes, it's only me. Ninja observance kills) is that her eyes are mismatched. The right one is deep, deep violet, closer to black than purple, but the left one is softer lavender, with azure and gold flecks. Unnerving.

'Ayame,' I reply.

Her eyes gleam sardonically, and I can tell she's smirking behind her mask. 'Didn't expect to see you here.'

'Likewise.' I turn towards Anne, who's studiously polishing glasses and trying (in vain) not to eavesdrop (OMG!!!! The great antisocial Watari is _socialising!!!!!_ Conundrum.) 'Luce needs a glass of hot whisky.'

'What a liar!' roars a drunken Nash (I do _not_ get this guy. At all. He's a spy, isn't he? Why the f--- is he slacking off at the tavern?), who had, until then, gone unnoticed by everyone in the tavern. It's an uncanny ability; I almost envy him (almost: I'm a ninja. I do it better).

'He says it's for Luce, and the last time he had to be carried to his room!' he continues, flashing me a roguish grin that says he approves entirely.

I give him the dirtiest, meanest glare I can manage. He shuts up.

'So, uh, Watari,' Anne says nervously. 'What does Luce need the whisky for?'

Poor thing. She's struggling to make pleasant conversation. She's _quivering_. Am I really that disconcerting? And here I thought that my new silent-but-friendly-yet-ruthless-assassin-who-don't-worry-won't-kill-you-unless-paid-to image was working…

'Lucia's got a cold,' I mutter.

'Oh,' she squeaks. End of PC.

I take the whisky from her and leave. If I'm lucky, that's all I'll have to see of her today.

.

..

…

Ayame, you idiot. Not Anne.

.

..

…

Okay, I guess I should explain. She joined the army yesterday. She wants to kill me. If not for that stupid contract (munny-munny-munny, hee-hee-hee) I would have packed my bags and left Budehuc, the Masked Bishop be damned. Simple, eh?

So why does she have to be _the first person_ I see when I walk into the tavern?!

I'm not _afraid_ of her. It's far more…complicated and…sensitive.

.

..

…

I can't believe she agreed to call a truce…maybe…

.

..

…

Crap. She's following me. And I didn't notice

The back of my neck prickles. Shit. Is she…is she _checking me out?! _My posterior feels all exposed. I didn't know women did this…I honestly thought it was a guy thing. Okay, a Nash and Mike thing. Now that you mention it, an Ace and Joker and Duke and Edge and Caesar and Juan…okay. It's a guy thing.

Wait. Stop looking at me like that. I'm innocent. I'm…nnngh! Alright! So Anne has big boobs. And I notice. I have hormones. Big deal. Screw you.

…I feel insecure. Shit. I think I'm blushing.

.

..

…

Okay, that was…odd.

Apathy. Indifference. Remember who you are.

.

..

…

She's still following me.

'What do you want?' I ask finally, exasperated (I'm back to normal. Huzzah. Go me.)

'I've spent the last seven years following you around. It's hard to do anything else.'

I have absolutely nothing to say to that. Is she _flirting_? God, I need some help…

She laughs, a dry, scratchy sound that, oddly enough, sounds pleasant.

'I'm kidding. But what else do I do here? It's so…sleepy. I can't believe you guys are preparing for war.'

'You want excitement? Go talk to Nadir.'

'I did, actually. That's why I was in the tavern. He offered me a role. Juliet.'

That was a new one. Ayame was going to play Juliet? Who was Romeo? Had they even picked someone out? Maybe it wasn't too late for me to-

Okay, NO. I am not taking part in one of Nadir's plays. Voluntarily (The little match girl. Do I _look_ like a match girl?!).

Shit. Where did that come from?

'Who's Romeo?' I ask casually.

'I think it's that Winger fellow. What's his name? Lance? Lanny?'

'Landis,' I growl. Thankfully, she doesn't notice.

'Yeah, him.'

'So…why don't you go practice?'

'Hmm, maybe I should.'

She turns to leave. I sigh, relieved.

'Oh, and…one last thing,' she says. 'When all this is over…'

'You will kill me.' I spit the words out.

She seems taken aback, almost…sad? Still, she says, 'Yes.'

'Never doubted it.'

'Never should.'

She saunters off (you don't see _me_ checking _her _out, do you?! Admittedly, she has a nice…wait, what am I saying?), and there's this weird ripping sensation in my abdomen that leaves me feeling empty and slightly nauseous.

.

..

…

Well, at least I've identified the cause behind my recent weirdness.

_I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in-_

_**SHADDUP!**_

-

Okay, kind of OOC…but come on, he's _way _more interesting like this. I hope ^^;


	2. Chapter 2: Landis

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Suikoden. Damn.

Quotes are from Dante's Inferno. And er, he's referring to hell. Haha.

Thank you, Remedi, for reviewing! I could kiss you, but I won't, because that would be…odd (huggles instead). 3

**Chapter 2: Landis**

'_**Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.'**_

So he says of love.

Who's he? The Reaper, my naïve child. Now don't tell me you don't know him.

He's there in the air you breathe, in the shadow that mirrors your every move, in the sleep that shows you sweet visions of contentment…he lurks, your inevitable death, never visible, but always at hand…

Do forgive me. I tend to digress.

'_**This way a good soul never passes...' **_

Then I think of Franz and Iku. Surely therein lies hope?

I mean, Iku baked me a pie.

'_**...I come into a region where is nothing that can give light.' **_

Oh, the light of reason! For my mind is addled, filled with fallacies and sweet words I would whisper into her ears, filled with visions of her pale cheeks flushing as I say them, of her face behind that abhorrent mask…

Wait. What if she has buck teeth?

Oh, that's nice. Fall for a girl because she has pretty eyes.

(They're mismatched, and thus unique. The right one is a darker shade of purple than the left one. Ah…I could stare at them all day…)

Please, I'm not _that _shallow.

Well…to be honest, it all happened this morning.

I rose with the dawn, only to be greeted by an apprehensive looking Elliot clutching a thick vellum envelope between his podgy fingers. Normally, I would have used the opportunity to satisfy my, ahem, sadistic urges, but the blood drained from my face when I saw the envelope. It could only mean one thing…

'LetterfromNadir!!' he squeaked, and flinging the letter at me, bolted.

I cautiously opened the letter, expecting an explosion. But no, Nadir's methods are far more subtle…

_Landis,_

_I am proud to announce I will be directing yet another play, entitled 'Romeo and Juliet.' After looking over several dedicated, talented applicants, I have made my decision: you, Landis, shall play the coveted role of Romeo. Congratulations. After you are done patting yourself on the back, please meet me in the tavern. _

_Sincerely,_

_Nadir_

WSDANJCKNFKSJNCSJKANDWRNMCSXMFCWJN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do I _look_ like a Romeo? Did Romeo ever wield a scythe and run around scaring innocent little children? NO! Romeo was a bloody chivalrous bastard! Do I look like one?! NO! I _DON'T_! AADNDKANAK!!!!

Ah, curses.

I went over to the tavern, dutifully…and then…

I saw her.

She was _hot_.

Her ninja outfit was black, black as death, and raven tresses framed a pale face with amethyst eyes. I couldn't see anything else, but her arcane beauty inspired me to write poetry. She was like a female version of the Reaper.

(Fitting image, given that she's an assassin. _Was_, at any rate.)

(Yes, I do write poetry. Surprised? Maybe I'll share it with you someday...actually, I don't think I will. Loser.)

She looked at me strangely, as though she were trying to figure out the best way to kill me. I smirked right back at her, and, to my surprise, her eyes crinkled in amusement.

'Landis!' boomed Nadir. 'This is Ayame. She will be playing Juliet. You two should get to know each other better: you may find it necessary.'

And then he returned to his office (surprise, surprise, he has one). Leaving us alone, of course.

I was dimly aware of the people in the tavern staring at us, but I ignored them. We stared at each other for a few more moments, sizing each other up. Silence.

It was…strange. I felt as though I needed to make a good impression.

'So-' I started.

'You-' she began.

We stopped, a little embarrassed.

'Carry on,' I said, in a rare display of chivalry.

'No, you go on.'

'Wasn't important.'

'Neither was mine.'

A few moments of awkward silence passed. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I adjusted my tunic. Nash burped. Anne dropped a glass. Shabon tripped over a drum. We didn't say anything.

Then Nash suddenly stood up and sauntered over to us. He slapped my back, _hard. _It hurt like _shit_, but come now, one doesn't yelp and scream like a ninny in front of the object of one's fancy.

(Later, that night, Nash would find a tarantula in his left sock, and wonder how on earth it got there…

…I know for a fact that he suffers from arachnophobia.)

(A few thoughts on Nash Clovis: he _redefines_ unemployment. He's supposed to be some hot-shot Harmonian spy, and he here he is, drinking himself to death. And it's not even twelve o'clock.)

'So,' he said cheerily. 'You're Romeo.'

'You bet.'

'You don't seem too enthusiastic about it. Why don't you switch roles with me? I'm a guard.' He waggled his eyebrows. 'If I were in your place, I would be honoured to woo a lady as beautiful as Ayame.' He blew her a kiss. I had a sudden urge to poke my long, uncut, sharp fingernails into his posterior, but I controlled myself.

He had backed me into a corner, he had. If not for Ayame, I would have _gladly _exchanged roles with him. I had to give him credit: the guy was more perceptive than he let on. Or maybe just a lucky ass.

I'd go with the latter.

Fortunately, Ayame came to my rescue. She widened her eyes, batted her eyelashes and, her voice oozing sarcasm, said, 'You're _so _brave. Your director _really _scares me.' She shivered delicately.

I barked a laugh. Her eyes gleamed merrily. Nash shut up.

I glanced at the stage.

'Well, guess I'll be seeing you around, Ayame. _Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good-night till it be morrow_,' I said gallantly.

'That's my line,' she said.

'Ah, what's in a line?'

'Name. Try to remember your lines.'

I bowed extravagantly, ending with a flourish of my wings to top it all off. 'Forgive me. Farewell.'

I saw her shaking her head in a mixture of disbelief and amusement as I left the room, and I couldn't help but smile a little.

I felt strangely elated.

Ah, surely it is a sign? Me and Ayame, cast as the most famous lovers the world!

The most famous _doomed_ lovers.

'_**So full was I of slumber at that point where I abandoned the true way.'**_

Love. It kills.

----

Writing Landis was _soooo _much fun…I don't think he was as OOC as Watari, but I'll leave that to you to decide. Review please!!


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